"Gimme More" came on and Paulie Walnuts started doing minimalist dance moves that could be described as career-ending.

Paulie, I said. Don't pile on.

It's not that I like Britney or her music. (Although "Gimme More" is weirdly her best song.) And it's not that I defend her choice to become megafamous. Something is very wrong with a person who fiends for that much attention. But now that it's all said and done, her unraveling kind of is our fault. Every time I watch an E! news segment on her latest wig/child custody battle/fast food order I'm complicit.

We're all gonna feel really guilty about all the poking and prodding if she kills herself. I put Seacrest on mute and did a blog post instead.